When you’re feeling overwhelmed, overworked, and stressed, you can stand up for yourself and shape your experience with a “positive no”. You can say “no” to what’s not working for you while you say “yes” to what’s most important to you, what speaks to your values, and what counts most for you. When you need to say “no”, start with a “yes” by articulating what is truly important to you, your key priorities, and what you need, follow with a clear “no”, and end with a positive, constructive proposal of what you can do, a “yes”. Try a neutral, matter-of-fact yes-no-yes sandwich to get to a healthier kind of yes. 

Recently, a friend invited me to a concert. It was a busy week; going to a concert on a Thursday night would have stretched me thin and likely made me less able to manage Friday’s heavy workload. My response was, “I love the idea of seeing that band, which I’ve followed for years, outdoors under the summer sky with you. Thank you for thinking of me. I can’t commit to Thursday night. I’ll be available on Friday and Saturday and would love to catch up with you then.”

For more, read the “The Positive of a Positive No” by William Ury